Can girlfriend Reclaim Chasity?

In 1997, nearly eighty percent that Christian couples us surveyed at our seminars reported that they had actually experienced premarital sex, mainly with their present spouse.

You are watching: How to be virgin again to save marriage

Is it feasible to reclaim your virginity? right here are 7 steps..

1. Turn to Christ with repentance and confession.

Making God our first love again starts with CONFESSION and also REPENTANCE. Words confession in its most basic terms method “admit it” as soon as we understand we’re law what grieves God. In other words, it’s agreeing through God the our behavior is no His best for us. Becky, in our previously story, admitted the her way of living was no pleasing to God. She also asked Christ to pardon her because that sinning.

In enhancement to confession, REPENTANCE is necessary. Repentance means to “turn around and also go the contrary direction.” This way to stop your sinful behavior and go the other direction. It’s act a 180-degree turn. The holy bible says come “Run from anything the takes us away native God’s best.”

2. Understand the results of Pre-Marital Sex.

An important part in maintaining virginity or regaining a shed virginity is by resisting further sexual authorized by share truthful results of sex-related behavior. A few of the Consequences: here are few of the factors why having actually pre-marital sexual involvement is harmful:


It dulls our spirit toward God and also His ways.

It lowers our self-worth by making united state feel guilty or shameful.

It reinforces our self-centeredness, strengthens ours sensual focus and pulls us away from our loving focus on God and others.

It creates a greater susceptibility to sex-related diseases.

It increases our require for higher stimulation in sex-related contact, which then boosts the potential for conflict in marriage.

It deserve to reduce ours satisfaction in the marital sexual relationship because the marital connection cannot complete with the “back chair of a car.” A significant 1996 poll performed by the college of Chicago revealed adults who report the highest possible levels of sex-related satisfaction were those who preserved sexual connections until marriage.

Couples who have had actually pre-marital sex have actually a better chance of marital dissatisfaction and also divorce.

It boosts one’s chances of sex-related addiction.

3. Find why you had actually sex so you deserve to correct the problem.

Attempting to change a certain behavior without very first understanding why we did it is an extremely difficult. It would be choose telling a chef who made a damaging dinner to simply stop food preparation so bad. Uneven the chef to know why the enjoy the meal was therefore awful, that can’t exactly the mistake.


*

Your relationship with Christ to be weak or nonexistent.

You were in rebellion.

You to be curious. One study reported that 75% of teenagers say the curiosity about what sex is choose was a major factor in your pre-marital sex-related behavior.

Your self-esteem was also low. Once someone has actually a an adverse self-image and feels favor he has really low worth, the more likely he is to be affiliated in sexual activity.

You were confused about the definition of love. A variety of investigators have revealed the girls, more than boys, report being in love as the key reason because that being sexually active. It appears that these girls often tend to rationalize their sexual behavior by believing the they to be “swept away by love.”

Puberty arrived on a young age. In one study, early-maturing boys and also girls reported more sexual activity than did late bloomers.


4. Forgive you yourself by Treasure searching the pain of the sex-related experience.

One the the best ways to increase your self-value is to uncover value the end of a trial. God instructs us to, “Consider the pure joy, mine brothers, anytime you confront trials of plenty of kinds, because you recognize that the experimentation of your faith establishes perseverance. Blessed is the guy who perseveres under trial, since when he has actually stood the test, he will get the crown the life the God has promised to those who love him.

5. Becoming mindful of her Choices and also build a Buffer Zone far from sexual temptation.

Edwin Hubbel Chapin declared the fifth method to build purity as soon as he said: “Every action of our resides touches on part chord that will vibrate in eternity.” together you maintain or reclaim your virginity, it’s crucial to realize just how every action we take pipeline a lasting affect on ourselves and others. Even the the smallest movement have the right to have a significant impact. This is the blog post you must understand if you’re make the efforts to stay pure: Every selection you do has aftermath for yourselves and others.

6. Developing a buffer zone.

We must learn exactly how to keep from stepping the end of pat in the area of intimacy v our fiancé. Together Dr. Gary Oliver notes in the book, Seven promises of a Promise Keeper, the vital is developing a new sideline—ten yards far from the original line. In various other words, leaving room for error. For example, if you have had actually sex, then you need to build a new purity line. Because that some, the brand-new line he won’t go beyond might it is in kissing, holding hands. For others it might be no contact, period. If the brand-new line is kissing, then stepping ten yards back might be not kissing when lying under or no “passionate” kissing. Since everyone renders mistakes, having actually room prior to you step out of bounds deserve to be the difference between losing a few yards and losing the game of virginity.

7. Look for out Accountability.

Accountability with a trusted person is one of the most necessary ways to maintain or regain virginity. This person could be a family members member, friend, coach, counselor or pastor. Or it might be a group of human being who have actually made a similar commitment towards purity. Whoever gives the accountability, us have found that it significantly affects a someone’s capacity to say “No” come sex before marriage. Within an accountability relationship, the crucial ingredient is having that human ask the an overwhelming questions. For example, “Did you compromise your criter on your date last night?” or “Have you to be tempted sexually this week?” Ideally, these questions pressure us come carefully and also prayerfully consider our choices due to the fact that we recognize that someone will certainly be checking.

See more: How Much Is A 5 Dollar Gold Coin Worth, Value Of $5 Gold United States Coins

Written by Dr. Greg and Michael Smalley, offered with Permission. Originally seen on Smalley Online.