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The truth is, man had always wanted to sign up with the Navy— I even remember the talking around it in college. Me, top top the various other hand? before we started dating, ns knew nothing about the military. I had a few friends who parents to be in the national Guard and also one or two college friends that were in ROTC. The only thing ns really knew to be from the movies and also from reading the newspaper.
And, yeah, being a Band that Brothers aficionado isn’t really the method to prepare because that what the military is prefer in the 21st Century.
I to be woefully unprepared to be a military girlfriend.
And honestly, that isn’t? Military society is its own, with its own lingo, jokes, abbreviations, and experiences. I’m not certain that there would have actually been something that can have adequately all set me to day a sailor.
But ns still felt really unprepared. And also confused.
In fact, if you’re reading this, i was probably a lot choose you wondering:
How can I be a an excellent military girlfriend?
And I have the feeling that a most newly armed forces girlfriends (and boyfriends) feeling this way… mainly since I hear them say it in their emails and Facebook messages, in your responses on society media. It’s straightforward to feel… well… lost.
Being a army girlfriend has actually a the majority of grey area and also it have the right to be a little tough come navigate, specifically if friend are choose me and know certain zilch about what you’re “getting yourself into.”
When I get into cases I don’t know a lot about, that space confusing, or that make me anxious, i intellectualize them. I read every little thing I can. I carry out research. I shot to figure out what’s walking on. So ns dug in. I check out a ton the books. I found websites and also message boards and I listened and read and also participated.
I spent a most time in search of the army girlfriend mold and trying to shape myself into what I believed it meant to be a an excellent Navy girlfriend.
And ns realized something: The best way to be an awesome armed forces girlfriend was simply to be me.
Being a armed forces girlfriend isn’t miscellaneous you have to “attain” once you begin dating someone in the military. You’re a military girlfriend because you’re dating someone in the military. Period.
Maybe it’s not earth-shattering. It’s absolutely not. After ~ all, it’s something that us tell kids: it is in yourself. When they feeling worried around making friends: it is in yourself. When they feeling alone: just be yourself.
It’s no a new concept.
But somewhere follow me the way, i think us forget that. Somewhere throughout military life– at least once– a lot of us feel insecure. Possibly it’s the new parts of armed forces life we’re not supplied to. Or a new duty station. A brand-new group that friends.
And maybe, simply maybe, in every one of the discomfort and worry and self-consciousness, we must hear that ourselves. We need to give ourselves the advice we so frequently give various other people.
Military girlfriend, just be yourself.
It’s something the I discover myself saying regularly to military girlfriends that email me, worried the they aren’t enough in some way.
I’m not an imaginative enough.
That’s okay. Being creative isn’t in the army girlfriend project description.
I’m not strong enough.
That’s okay. (But I’m guessing that you are actually stronger than friend realize, military girlfriend.)
I’m not independent enough.
You’ll be okay. You’ll discover what what works for you together a military girlfriend.
I’m not saying that things won’t be tough or the you won’t feel insufficient sometimes. Or that points will walk absolutely upside-down and you’ll find yourself sit on the restroom floor and crying (been there, excellent that).
What i am saying is the there’s no not correct or right means to it is in a armed forces girlfriend.
(Unless you’re steal state secrets, in which instance you’re wrong. Very, very, an extremely wrong.)
Military girlfriends come in every shades the diversity, experience, background, and life journeys. They’re invest bankers and also teachers, baristas and also college students, pastors and also rabbis. They’re conservative, moderate, liberal, and also not political. They’re Air pressure girlfriends, navy girlfriends, maritime girlfriends, coastline Guard girlfriends, and Army girlfriends. They’re tattooed or not, attract locs or wavy hair, moms or aunts or not at all. Part may uncover a large part that their identity in army life while there could feel favor there’s a armed forces girlfriend stereotype, there’s not. Due to the fact that military girlfriends are an ext than one thing.
You’ve acquired this. ~ all, you’re you.
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and that’s why s/he’s through you anyway, right? Not because you’re the perfect armed forces girlfriend, but since you’re you.