The story the sea salt. It’s a story that geology, endurance, and also erosion. Unfortunately, this story seems to be unknown to several persons of dubious copious fame. And also they’ve taken that upon us to develop a menagerie the strange, kickass and even gross theories on s salinity. Sign up with me now on a strange and also wondrous expedition to debunk some bad celebrity science.

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The chuck Norris Hypothesis

The world’s seas were created from the tears of chuck Norris’ enemies.

A normal human sheds around 100 liters the tears in your lifetime. The volume of the s is 1,335,000,000 km3. To fill the s Chuck Norris would certainly need about 13 quintillian enemies. However, there room only around 7.5 billion people on earth. Either 99.99999995% of chuck Norris’ opponents are aliens, or lining Norris has extracted enough tears to to fill 5000 olympic swimming pools from each and every human that has ever lived. Either way, don’t f**k with Chuck.

The David Avocado Wolfe Hypothesis

The reason why the seas are salty is that’s what’s essential to host the water ~ above the Earth. If that didn’t happen the water would levitate ideal off the Earth, that’d it is in the end of it. The salt holds the on, in the same way it hold it into our body.

DO I must BATHE IN rare HIMALAYAN iceland SALT SO i DON’T float AWAY? call ME AVOCADO MANBUN MAN!!! It appears Avocado Manbun man clearly denies the existence of freshwater lakes, which due to their absence of salt, have to be floating away at this really instant.

It’s heaviness Manbun Avocado. Gravity is the attraction in between different masses and keeps salt water, freshwater and also everything else on this planet on the ground. Salt simply makes water denser 보다 freshwater. Things that are denser sink, while points that space less thick (or buoyant) float. If you really gently pour saltwater right into freshwater*, it will sink. Return if you live on civilization with an setting of molten lead (which is 10X denser than water), salt water would be buoyant and float away into the sky. The would likewise be 621F and the water would certainly turn right into gas and you would be a liquid, yet that’s simply a boy technicality.

The Snooki Hypothesis


…the water’s every whale sperm. That’s why the ocean’s salty.

First thing: EEEEEWWW. Second thing: GOOGLED IT. This is likewise the suggest where i learned a lot about whale ejaculate. THERE space THINGS i CAN’T UNSEE. So exactly how much whale sperm carry out you must make the s salty?

Unsurprisingly, you can’t google the salinity the whale sperm. But you have the right to google the salinity of human being sperm. Since we are all mammals here, I’ll simply use human being sperm together proxy sperm. Ejaculate is three times as salty as seawater (although it made up of a somewhat different collection the ions). Because of this according to Snooki, one 3rd of the ocean volume is whale sperm. Sperm is also less thick than seawater (due to the lipid content). Thus according to Bunman Avocado, it would float away into the sky. But i digress.

Popular web lore states that a blue whale produces over 400 gallons of fluid each time the ejaculates, about enough to fill a hot tub. This is a value that has actually been debunked, yet no one has actually measure blue whale ejaculate volume. So we shall estimate it! Ejaculate volume for various whale varieties ranges from 2-24 ml (2-16 bar shots). Testes size from 0.1-3.6 kg**. Testes dimension to ejaculate volume varieties from 0.01-0.6. At most, a blue whale with 45-70 kg testes would just make 27-42 ml the ejaculate (although i agree this sounds really small). That would certainly be a an extremely sorry warm tub…or would certainly it?

Blue whale you have failed us. I summon you Right Whale!! With 1 ton testes it produces gallons the sperm every time the mates. David Attenborough doesn’t lied people. Right whales have actually been recognized to live as much as 70 years. Assuming best whales shot to mate 20 times per year, with 2 gallons per encounter…that’s 2800 gallons a year the ejaculate! Therefore, it would certainly take 1.25 x 1017  hot and bothered whales living 70 years each to do the ocean salty. If the were true, there would be much more whales 보다 mosquitos and it would be time to invest in some sort of whale swatter technology. I’m calling her bluff Snooki.



Salt in the ocean originates from rocks top top land.

Yes, it’s true. No from vanquished foes, not from amorous cetaceans and also certainly not to prevent spontaneous levitation. ROCKS. End many, many eons, rain pitter-pattered ~ above rocks, weathering them, dissolving salts and also minerals. This ever-so-slightly water eventually flowed right into the ocean. Some ions were consumed by sea beasties. Various other ions continued to boost in concentration. It to be this slow buildup of ions, in certain sodium and chloride, that eventually became the braided sea water we now of today. It truly is a beautiful geology saga that is far better than any kind of story a celebrity could or has ever made up.

A shoutout to Madeline Merck, the owner the the lining Norris calendar that motivated this post!

*This assumes that the denser water does no mix through the neighboring water, aka you to water in dense red water right into clear new water and the two waters unify to form pink water.

**One Orca testicle weighs around the very same as a newborn baby.


Kelley, T. C., Stewart, R. E., Yurkowski, D. J., Ryan, A., & Ferguson, S. H. (2015). Mating ecology of beluga (Delphinapterus leucas) and also narwhal (Monodon monoceros) as approximated by reproductive tract metrics. Marine Mammal Science, 31(2), 479-500.

Neuenhagen, C., Hartmann, M. G., & Greven, H. (2007). Histology and also morphometrics of testes the the white-sided dolphin (Lagenorhynchus acutus) in bycatch samples from the northeastern Atlantic. Mammalian Biology-Zeitschrift für Säugetierkunde, 72(5), 283-298.

Robeck, T. R., K. J. Steinman, M. Greenwell, K. Ramirez, W. Valve Bonn, M. Yoshioka, and J. K. O’Brien. Seasonality, estrous cycle characterization, estrus synchronization, semen cryopreservation, and also artificial insemination in the Pacific white-sided dolphin (Lagenorhynchus obliquidens). Reprod., 138: 391–405. Doi: 10.1530. REP-08-0528, 2009.

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Robeck, T. R., Steinman, K. J., Gearhart, S., Reidarson, T. R., McBain, J. F., & Monfort, S. L. (2004). Reproductive physiology and breakthrough of fabricated insemination modern technology in killer whales (Orcinus orca). Biology of Reproduction, 71(2), 650-660.